Friday, February 15, 2008


With having a new baby, it’s harder for me to do everything that I once did. Working long hours, sleeping in on weekends, working out 6 days a week, volunteering as much, fancier cooking, any baking, traveling, and so much more. My family has always been my first priority and it just needs more time now. A lot more time.

There were always things that I “didn’t have time for.” Cleaning the house more often, tending to the lawn more frequently, corresponding with more far away friends, blogging, reading that book for pleasure or work, and more. I don’t let these things weigh me down anymore. I give myself permission with no self-guilt trips or second thoughts. It’s a conscious decision. I give myself permission to pick up my son from daycare and spend time with him instead of going to a work happy hour. Sometimes I give myself permission for the happy hour. I give myself permission to blog during lunch 1-2 days a week instead of going out to lunch or working through lunch.

I have 2 friends from separate parts of the country. Recently, they both used that same phrase too – “I give myself special permission.” Kirsten will admit that she’s more comfortable “doing it herself.” Delegating is nice but it’s easier for her to do it herself – team of 1. Over time, she has felt the consequences – stress, not able to do as much as she wanted, not always the best person, running late which affects others, and more. She now gives herself permission to ask for help. It is definitely a conscious decision (and against her nature). She’s not able to rewire herself to be fully comfortable so she gives herself permission. This has reduced her stress and made her feel that she’s accomplishing more.

Shawn owns a consulting business. He’s a great guy, level-headed, and a big F (Feeler) in Myers-Briggs terms. He doesn’t want to impose on people. Yet he needs to sell his services. Shawn gives himself permission to ask people to buy his services. This is helping to make him more successful.

THINGS TO REMEMBER: Sometimes you need give yourself permission. You accept the consequences and path chosen and not chosen. Consciously choosing to give permission is empowering. It allows you to break from your norm and be more than yourself.

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